REFLECTIONS BY JILL for May 14, 2007

And we can’t say good-bye this week without talking about the big heartbreaker, Jessica’s illness. I hate the fact that they gave her an illness like this that has such seedy implications. Haven’t there been enough terrible memories of what Tess did for Jessica to live with? Does shooting up heroine have to be something she lives and deals with for the rest of her life now? It’s horrible that her family has to go through this also. And it’s only going to get worse because the word is that Jessica is going to have liver cancer. Gee, I never know what joy awaits me when I get home from work, rewind my tape and sit down to relax with my soap. It’s not too great for the digestion when I catch up with OLTL while I’m having dinner.

I felt terrible for each and every one of Jessica’s loved ones and it’s sad that this is what it took for Antonio to come to the realization that his marriage is in serious trouble. I could feel Antonio’s pain when he was talking to Cristian and finally admitted that his life with Jessica was a mess and that nothing has been the same since Jessica’s integration. He realizes now that she is not the woman he fell in love with and that he has lost her. I think all of his feelings of anger and frustration are justified, even if they do come out of his pain. He’s not going to give up on Jessica, but he has a lot of reality to deal with in addition to her illness.

Of course we had to have that scene like we do in all of these situations where someone (Nash this time) prays to God and promises that if Jessica gets well he’ll give her up. I think it was very realistic and a great scene when Paige overheard him praying and told him not to make promises he can’t keep. We all know he can’t keep that promise. I like Paige more and more these days. I hope she sticks around Llanview and I also hope that it turns out that Hugh was not really her son and that Nash is. That poor boy needs a good connection to Llanview.

Didn’t you think that Antonio overheard Nash when he was praying and asked God not to punish Jessica for loving him? Actually, it probably wouldn’t have been pretty if Nash and Antonio had it out in the middle of the chapel, would it? Honestly, both of these men love Jessica so much and both of them are destroyed over the fact that she’s sick. That was made really clear when Antonio at first refused to let Nash see Jessica, saying that he didn’t deserve to see Jessica because she was HIS wife. Nash wasn’t too proud to beg Antonio. When Nash just stood there, looked Antonio in the eye and said, “Please”, I was so hoping that Antonio would put aside his feelings about Nash and do what was best for Jessica and he didn’t disappoint me.

And let’s face it; as sick as she is, nobody was able to make Jessica smile until Nash walked into her room and that did it for her. Whatever happens down the road for Jessica and Nash, you cannot deny that they truly love each other. When Nash left the room, letting Antonio have time with her, I loved it when he stuck his face in the window and drew a heart for her.

I guess he had to ask, but it did twist my gut when Antonio asked Nash what kind of drugs he did with Tess and if they ever shared needles. Nash sure does have to put up with everyone thinking the worst of him. I was glad when Clint was visiting Jessica and she asked him to be in Nash’s corner because he doesn’t have anyone to lean on. Hey, we can’t pick who we fall in love with and although Jessica has made some bad decisions, especially about marriage, it can’t be denied that she and Nash are in love and I think they belong together.

And I wanted to tell Talia where she could stick her advice and warning when she approached Nash at the hospital and told him that Antonio was a good guy who loves his daughters. Good for Nash when he looked at her, without being intimidating, and said, “Yeah, and one of them is mine and who are you.” I guess she thought she was tough when she told him that she was a friend of Antonio’s and had his back. How long has she known these people? About five minutes? Get a grip Talia. Nash is not a witness you’re trying to intimidate so mind your own business.

Can we just talk about Viki for a moment? How much torture is this woman supposed to endure in her lifetime? Once Jessica was diagnosed with DID, Viki could never forgive herself for feeling that she was responsible for everything that happened to her. If Viki was even close to learning to live with what happened to Jessica as a child, she is now back to being overwhelmed by the guilt all over again. I liked her scene with Natalie where Natalie offered her the shoulder of a friend as well as a daughter and Viki finally broke down.

I guess it’s wonderful news that little Bree was not infected by her mom, but hey, do we have to keep being bombarded with the sadness and depressing storylines? Soon the lunatic, Todd Manning, will be back in town and we’ll have to deal with his battle for Tommy. Gee, I can’t wait for the happiness and joy those shows are going to bring.

Jill

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