Reflections by Jill - A Weekly Commentary for OLTL for December 1, 2008

Well, last week was a short one for One Life to Live fans but an eventful one just the same. For one thing, we have a new friendship on the horizon. Jessica and Brody each had themselves committed to St. Ann’s on the same day and Jessica decides to show Brody the ropes on how to survive in a mental institution. Hey, in Llanview, this is valuable information. It seems like there is quite a bit of Tess peeking through and I guess we have to deal with that since that has been the case since Jessica first became integrated. Brody thinks he’s done the worst possible thing by shooting Rex and kidnapping Shane, until of course Jessica gives him the gory details of her illness and what she tried to do to her sister and Jared, not once not twice, but three times. Are Jessica and Brody going to become friends, or will it be more than that? I’m hoping for just friends because Jessica has way too much to deal with these days and a boyfriend with PTSD isn’t something she needs to add to the mix.

I have to say that it was heartbreaking to watch Viki’s composure just disintegrate over everything that has happened to her family, mostly to Jessica. Viki thought she was doing well with dealing with her own recovery and integration and she has spent the last couple of years dealing with the fact that her actions as Nikki made Jessica’s personality splinter. It was so devastating to see Viki finally fall apart, so ridden with guilt and of course she wound up at Victor’s crypt, the animal ultimately responsible for all her misery. I can’t say enough about Erika Slezak, but you already know that. No one needs to explain why this actress has won six Emmy Awards and she didn’t let us down this time. It is very hard to watch Viki in this condition because she is so in control 99% of the time, but when it comes to this part of her life, she just can’t put aside her guilt. She feels like her misery will never be over, that what her father did to her as a child will haunt and affect her and her entire family for as long as she lives. She brought me to tears as she stood there with a crowbar, trying to dismantle the plaque on Victor’s tomb, somehow trying to destroy any symbol of his existence. She said it all when she leaned over her father and cried, “Why wasn’t I as lucky as Meredith? She died and didn’t have to live through what I did. Why couldn’t I just die? Why did I have to be the one to face everything and fix everything?” When I watch Erika, I realize over and over why I still watch soaps; it’s to watch pros like her show everyone how it’s done.

Okay, now for everyone who thinks I am unfair and can’t change my mind about characters I don’t really care for, hold on to your hats. I mean it wholeheartedly when I say that old Charlie is starting to chip away at my heart. Yep, that’s right, he got a little piece of me when he risked his life getting rid of that bomb before it blew up Viki’s house and everyone in it, but that was nothing compared to what he did for a follow up. Poor Viki was mortified when she was in the throes of her breakdown with her father and looked up to see Charlie standing in the doorway. She told him that she didn’t want him to see her like that and what did he do? He told her that no way was he going to leave and he offered her the most compassionate and loving shoulder I’ve seen in a long time. She was able to explain everything to him about her alters and Jessica’s problems and he just took it all in and didn’t even flinch. Now you know what I’m going to say. I haven’t seen loving behavior and concern like that since Ben was around (I told you you’d know what I was going to say), but I’m going to admit that Charlie was wonderful, caring, supportive and he has finally stopped seeming like a victim himself and has become more the kind of man I think Viki needs. He’s a stand-up guy and I wanted to give him a big hug when he explained, “When you found me drunk in that alley I didn’t want you to see me like that either but you didn’t go away and I won’t either.” It took a while, but Charlie’s words finally sunk in when he said, “I’d like nothing better than to beat the crap out of your father and my heart breaks for the little girl you were, but you have to do as I do, take one day at a time. There will be good days and bad ones, but you are a survivor and not a victim.” I also wanted to give him a hug when he took her seriously about wanting to tear down the crypt and he actually said he could find the workers to take the place down for her. What a guy. Viki does need the man he is now and hey, if she can’t have Ben, she’ll do okay with a good guy like Charlie. It didn’t hurt at all when Charlie topped off the evening by taking Viki over to what used to be Carlotta’s diner and showing her that he has converted it to The Bonjour Café, Llanview style. You’re winning me over Charlie; I can’t help myself. And by the way, my ability to change my feelings about characters does not extend to Todd, so to all of you Todd fans, don’t get any crazy ideas. It’s not going to happen. The writers would have to come up with a storyline where Todd’s whole life has been a bad dream a la Bobby Ewing for me to reconsider my feelings about him and I don’t see that happening. Uh oh; better not give the writers any ridiculous ideas!