Reflections by Jill - A Weekly Commentary for OLTL

What can you say about John McBain’s “death?” The only good thing I can say is that I take comfort in the fact that he’s not really dead. But I’m also sure that I’ll shed as many tears as if he really were dead. Silly me! That being said, I think there was a lot to be said for the way we watched our soap operas before the age of the Internet. Do you ever yearn for the days when you had no idea what was going to happen the next day on your show and you could never wait for Monday because those Friday cliffhangers left you spellbound waiting to see what would happen? I remember those old days very fondly and many times I think we get too much information and it takes some of the thrill out of watching. On the other hand, I think that when the fans know so much about what’s going to happen in the future, it keeps the writers on their toes because they have to try to come up with new and more clever ways to shock us.

That being said, I still have to wonder why I sit and cry my eyes out when someone dies that I know isn’t really dead. I’d like to think it’s the really good acting that we see from so many actors on One Life to Live. I can’t say enough about the performances last week of everyone involved with John. I have to start with Bo because I don’t think people say enough good things about Bob Woods portrayal of Bo. He is the rock for everyone in Llanview. He was devastated by what happened to John. You could see the pain in his eyes and on his face, yet he had to be so strong for everyone else. Losing a fellow officer, especially a young one who was a friend, can only remind Bo of losing his own son and yet he maintained his stiff upper lip when he had to help Michael deal with what happened to John and then he had the ever worse task of telling Natalie what happened. I’ll bet that Bo’s consolation is going to come from his son, Matthew, and that will be very touching. I doubt Bo will even have Paige to lean on very much because she’ll be tied up with worrying about Hugh.

Speaking of Michael, I can’t say enough about what a great job Nathaniel Marston did in portraying Michael’s grief over losing his brother. His total breakdown at the crash site was heart wrenching to watch, especially when he insisted on viewing John’s body and found the medal that Natalie had given John which made him believe that he had really lost his brother. Michael was so strong later on when he went home to tell Marcie what had happened and in the midst of all that grief was the good news about little Tommy’s adoption. How sad was it that John’s mom was coming to town and she was bringing her engagement ring for John to give to Natalie? I was glad that Michael had his mom there.

And Natalie. What can I say? I know a lot of people say a lot of things about Melissa Archer’s portrayal of Natalie, but I can’t imagine anyone thinking she did anything but a great job. I think it was really to Natalie’s benefit in this situation that she had the kind of life growing up that made her the tough cookie that she is. This is like déjà vu in her life. What are the chances that someone so young would lose the man she loves twice to a death that really never happened?

Melissa’s performance was wonderful, from the minute Natalie opened the door to John’s apartment and found Bo standing there and she just knew something horrible had happened but didn’t want to deal with it, to wanting to be alone to deal with her pain by herself. It was bad enough for her to get the terrible news from Bo, but what made it even worse was that she was waiting for John to come home for a big surprise and she felt like they had finally turned a corner in their relationship after he had avenged his father’s death. I could feel her pain when Bo left and she just leaned against the door, slipped down to the floor and just lied there as if she had nothing left in her. You could feel the pain, especially when she wrapped herself in John’s leather jacket and clutched the medal in her hand.

It’s too bad that Natalie had to run into disgusting Spencer at the police station. Leave it to him to have something cruel and heartless to say when he heard about John’s death and said, “Gee, it’s too bad he didn’t live long enough to see that I’m right.” What a hateful piece of trash Spencer is. I was glad when Nora told him about Hugh being in the accident and he was helpless to do anything for his son. Raise your hand if you felt any sympathy for Spencer. No hands; that’s what I thought.

And how sad was it when Michael and Marcie met Natalie at the police station and finally told her that John’s mom had come to town to bring him her engagement ring and that he was going to ask her to marry him? That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Natalie. I think she saw all he hopes and dreams really shattered in that moment.