Reflecting on the week of Sept. 20-24, 2010
Welcome back, readers.
It certainly has been a better week on the show, but not without a few dips into the Loonview Survival Kit bag. I think I’ll get the nonsense of the show out of the way first. Please hold on while I dip into my survival kit for this one…Motrin..Rogaine..and…Pepcid AC. Clear! Please fasten your seatbelts, readers; the Loonview Express is now in motion.
Loonview’s Law & Order Division-Pt. 1—Bickering Buchanans
This storyline has blossomed into a ridiculous bushel of Romper Room NONSENSE! Writers, PLEASE!!!!! We get it. Clint is completely ticked off. He lost his brother’s ex-wife-turned-his-wife-turned-brother’s-current wife, he lost his robbed-from-the-cradle ex-stripper wife, and he lost his sanity. WE GET IT! What we don’t get is the thirty minutes of senseless sibling rivalry which entails two prominent community figures blatantly abusing their positions. Clint—in dire need of some intense psycho therapy and prison time, has infringed upon the human, civil and privacy rights of others consequence-free. In their quest to “spice up” the storyline, they instead, have successfully projected the message that aging rich businessmen can extract revenge by breaking the law, taking whatever and whomever they want when they want, blackmailing any authority, manipulating lives, etc., during the office morning coffee break and sleep comfortably at the end of the day. Why? Because no one is going to hold an old man accountable for his actions when he’s lost the Love Game! I don’t know about any of you, but I spent the whole time dedicated to the Bickering Buchanans popping Pepcids and thinking: This calls for a stint from Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” video!
Oh, and please let us call Commission-Not Bo Buchanan into the hot seat. This opens up our next episode of Kaydee’s “Is it Me, or…?” game.
Is it me, or is Bo giving off the vibe that he, too, is acting like a sore loser? It seems to me that he’s sticking his nose in places that will surely leave him without one when he steps back! His sons are in trouble under the grasp of an older brother scorned..partly by HIM, and he’s busy making Inez’s love life a personal project, in the presence of his own wife, who is the other half of Clint’s bitterness. I watched him open his mouth to render an apology, and somehow wound up deep-sea diving in my bottle of Rogaine when I heard the slew of elementary school gossip about Clint that rolled out of that same mouth. I was somewhat relieved to see that Nora has shed her Stepford wife coat and opened up her eyes to the poorly-masked torch her husband is carrying for his assistant. I recommend that Bo request some time off and take a vacation in, um, MOROCCO! Maybe then he can stumble upon some efficient police work when he runs into his son. Or better yet, pay his brother a visit at the office and personally witness his son becoming a snotty-nosed little brat under Clint’s tutelage. Perhaps he can exchange the handcuffs for a pair of soccer shoes that he can use to deliver that swift kick in his son’s….(we are experiencing a technical difficulty, please stand by).
Law & Order-Pt. 2—Case Dismissed…NOT!
I don’t really know what to say about Nora’s decision to pursue Hannah on obstruction of justice charges. I mean, it seems pointless to pursue obstruction of justice charges when the Commissioner of Police never had a clue, and is currently too preoccupied to get one! The way she prosecuted this particular case in the courtroom made her look desperate and inefficient, determined to make a senseless case stick at any cost. Many of you may not agree with this, but Nora is better than nickel-and-dime cheap shots, and I feel that she settled for less with this one. Marty, who suffered a great loss in this whole mess, was able to defend Hannah on the merits of the evidence, and it seemed that Nora attempted to manipulate Marty into changing her mind with references to the pain of her miscarriage. I’m sure I will hear from those of you who disagree. Next stop-Loonview Teentown.
Loonview Teen Beat-Pt. 1—School’s Out!
Welcome to our next edition of “Is it Me, Or…?” Is it me, or do the teens of Llanview have no supervision? How else do you explain that three kids managed to cut class without raising any red flags? Danielle and Destiny managed to slip into a private custody hearing and—get this—duck behind court seats without being seen, remain for the duration of the hearing, testify in the hearing, and Destiny managed to have time to take a cab across town to spy on her older brother’s medical mayhem, AND STILL MAKE IT TO DRIVER’S ED CLASS! Um…how???? I guess the fact that she failed Driver’s Ed was the writer’s severance prize.
Is it me, or are Ford and Langston just making you sick? I was thrilled when Langston used her brain as an asset and trapped Ford at his own game, even though he was sincere this time, but enough with the sick puppy looks already! Ford is a big boy, who didn’t bat an eyelash when he went on a sex-scheming spree. I can only hope that the writers will spare us the torment of finding out that he did indeed father Jessica’s baby. What cruelty it would be to expose another innocent child to the ugly mess of Llanview gossip. I for one, would like to see a refreshing approach to paternity tests in Llanview, and hear that someone took enough pity on us viewers to allow a legal, clean paternity test to have been taken without some hidden tainted results coming back to haunt us. It makes for a great drama, but it devastates a child in the long run.