| "Reflections by Jill" - A Weekly Commentary on OLTL | |
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Here's the second commentary by author Jill Berry. Enjoy! And don't forget to email Jill with your questions or comments.
REFLECTIONS
BY JILL…..
I would just like to take a
moment to thank everyone who read my first column last week and gave me such
wonderful feedback on my new endeavor. Your
kind words made me feel very special and I appreciated every single one of them.
OK…now this week I had
decided upon the subject for my column, however after seeing Gina and Todd at
Llanfair, I did an about face and just had to address one of my major pet peeves
about Llanview, PA. Have you
figured it out yet? No?
Well, pay close attention. I
am about to take you on a guided tour of Llanview, and as we get to each house,
ask yourselves the questions I always ask….DO THE PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN
EVER LOCK THEIR DOORS???? AND…WHO
IS THE LOCKSMITH WHO ISSUES THE MASTER KEYS TO EVERYONE????
Now I know that having been born and raised in New York City, I
do have a bit of a “special” viewpoint on security issues and safety, but
you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realize that even in Mayberry and Hooter Ville,
those residents had to worry about intruders, even if it was only the pigs and
cows!
Follow me…we shall begin
with a stop at Llanfair.
Here we have a priceless
mansion, handed down through generations of the Lord family.
Although the place could definitely use a major redecorating plan, in my
humble opinion, I would imagine that in addition to the tons of jewelry that
Viki probably owns, that collection of first edition books in the library is
probably worth zillions alone. Where
is the security system in that house? Last
week when Gina just waltzed in there and started rifling through Viki’s
things, I laughed hysterically. The
only thing funnier than that was Todd coming and “breaking in” right behind
her. I don’t know why Todd
didn’t believe Gina when she said the door was ajar and she just came in to
check things out. AND…wasn’t it
a little bit strange that when Ben came in…and he seemed to have used a key
(shocker)….that he didn’t even wonder how Todd and Gina got in?
We’ll get back to Todd later, since he seems to have the master of all
master keys in his possession. Oh,
and one more thing about Llanfair…they don’t worry much about privacy there
either. Does anyone remember when
Viki and Ben were in the attic after that run-in Ben had with the hospital board
for supposedly botching Max’s brain surgery?
Of course you remember. Viki
went up to the attic to find Ben and they had quite the lovely little romp up
there…but neither one thought to close the door, let alone lock it…and
Jessica and Cristian were right downstairs.
I guess closing the door was the last thing on their minds and I’d have
to say, who could possibly blame them?
Next stop…. Crossroads.
I have only one question. “When
Ben purchased that place, did he give everyone in town a key, or did he just
take out an ad in The Banner that said, “Open House”…. literally?
There have been more occasions than I can count where people were there
and Ben was not; where he left a bunch of people drinking beer to lock up the
place when they were done. Oh, and
let’s not forget when Ben and Viki were in Florida after she went into
remission and Daniel Faulkner staged that party at Crossroads, inviting
practically the whole town to come and witness Max getting shot.
I wonder if he checked with Ben first about the party rates.
Not that Ben would care…he either has a fortune we don’t know about,
or he just doesn’t care about making a living, because he certainly is not the
Donald Trump of the watering hole business.
No one ever pays for a drink at Crossroads.
On to Lindsay’s gallery.
I need some help with this one…what the heck is that place?
Is it a gallery…an apartment….a back room?
She works there…she lives there…she schemes there.
There is an elevator and a door with a lock to get inside, but somehow
every time Lindsay comes in she uses a key to get inside and someone is always
waiting for her. I guess they all
get in by magic….Melanie, Colin, RJ. I
suppose Lindsay is not too worried about someone stealing her precious art
pieces, either.
Let’s make a quick stop at Rae’s lovely new house, which she actually uses for seeing patients. You’d think she’d need a little bit of privacy there, wouldn’t you? All I can say is…Todd has broken into that house so many times and knows the place so well that Rae might as well just go ahead and put his name on the mailbox! Let’s not forget the time Rae hypnotized Nora on the couch and Lindsay was able to just sachet in and practice her own little version of psychotherapy on Nora, while Rae spent about two hours upstairs with Skye. That’s one way to run a practice. I love you dearly Rae, but if I ever need to be shrunk, you can come to my house. I have two locks and a chain on MY door, and baby, I use them.
Anyone need to stop at Rodi’s for a drink??? I’m sure we can break in there if need be.
Nothing but a bunch of cops
there anyway…and when has that ever stopped any of the bad guys in Llanview?
While we’re passing by, we
must stop at Nora’s house. Now,
this may be a bit of my New York paranoia coming into play again, but do you
think it’s wise in a town where you’ve been kidnapped, drugged, and can’t
remember the last 3 years of your life, to not even have some little curtains
covering all of those windows on the front door…not to mention the bare
windows on the sides? It’s bad
enough that Nora never locks her door either, but does she have to let everyone
look right in and see exactly what’s going on?
She should have sent Colin an engraved invitation to come drug and kidnap
her a second time. I mean, you
can’t even walk around in your undies without flashing all the traffic driving
by, Nora! Lindsay surely
never had trouble getting into that house, either.
Now, no tour of Llanview
would be complete without a visit to the humble abode of Asa Buchanan.
Asa’s house is the most ridiculous of all, because he professes to have
a great security system, yet that place is not off limits to anyone.
Todd should have his name on Asa’s mailbox, too.
He sure has been there enough and he even gets up to the bedrooms.
He used to get by everyone and spend hours upstairs playing with Starr
and bothering Blair. And now, even
though she doesn’t live there any more, Starr is a regular visitor…but at
least she doesn’t break in…she blackmails Nigel…LOL!
Best of all, even one of Llanview’s most decent citizens, our own Ben
Davidson, has broken into Asa’s a time or two…although he always has a good
reason (tongue in cheek), like the time he went barreling into Asa’s study
after Asa yanked his medical license or when Asa was plotting with Skye.
How many times have we heard Asa yelling at Ben,
“How the hell did you get in here Davisssson?
What happened to my security?” Even
Ben had to laugh the last time he broke in and said, “God, I love breaking
into this house.” Maybe now that
he’s Asa’s son, he’ll actually get his own key to daddy’s place.
Well folks, I don’t know
about you, but my feet are killing me. I
think we’ve seen enough of the homes of the fine citizens of Llanview to know
why these people have no privacy and can never keep a secret, make a personal
phone call, or even hide a body without someone finding out about it.
If I’m ever in the market for a career change, I am going to become a
locksmith and open up a big shop in Llanview, making a fortune holding seminars
to teach the townsfolk how to lock their doors. Maybe I’ll just keep one little extra key for myself….any
guesses as to which one I’d keep?
See you all next week…….
Jill
FAN FEEDBACK
AND QUESTIONS ON LAST WEEK’S COLUMN
______________________
VTUGGLE503
writes: "I agree with you
about your observations, have noticed quite a few screw ups on the set. How is
it that Todd can go in some one's home, and just tear it apart? No one locks
their doors any one can walk in at any time. Why is Asa's mansion so available
to everyone? People with money have security, all of this is
baloney."
Dear
VTUGGLE503,
you are scaring me. Are you a mind reader? I
had this week’s column written before I read your email and it certainly does
seem like we think alike when it comes to the subject of open doors in Llanview.
You haven’t guessed the topic of next week’s column, have you?
______________________
Jewell Eve writes: "Soaps are a big part of my day, as I spend most of my time at home, due to physical difficulties. I have often wondered if the people in charge realize how they insult me and all their viewers when they commit these little discrepancies. Other times I think the writers perhaps get lazy. Whatever the reason, it is always upsetting. Do they think we won't notice, or catch on, or remember? I'm happy and excited about your new column. Continue speaking out for us, letting them know we are not stupid. Thank you. Keep watching and writing!”
Dear Jewell, I
completely agree that it can be very insulting when the writers pay little or no
attention to what we think is important. I’m
sure that enough fans have brought this to their attention, but it doesn’t
seem to change. I try to suspend my disbelief a little bit, tell myself that
it’s fiction, try to enjoy the big picture, and then I get the privilege of
venting all my frustrations in print, which is great for lowering one’s blood
pressure. By the way, I, too, still
mourn the loss of Another World…a wonderful show with superb actors.
______________________
Vera
Miller writes:
“Hi Jill, I just want to say that your column was a breath of fresh
writing...you wrote it exactly the way I would have, your opinions &
observations were right on... I will enjoy reading what you have to say. My
biggest hope is that Roger Howarth (Todd) is one of your favorites cause he is
totally mine..I'm glad you didn't mention "Mel" who I hope was the
killer so she will be written off the show, she hasn't a talented bone in her
body and has absolutely no chemistry with "Bo", I'll look forward
to your comments on this couple plus "Ben & Vicki" the mother and
son love birds, my opinion, she is just to old for him (and I'm not being mean
after all I am of a mature age) I just look at them and cringe when they have
love scenes together...UGH!!! Anyway welcome & good luck with your
column. I look forward to your next one...Thanks for allowing my banter.”
Ahhhh
Vera…I loved you comments best because you made me laugh the most. To answer you, my feelings for Todd change from love to hate
every day, sometimes twice a day, which only shows what a wonderful actor he is,
whether I like him or not. Also, I
am one of only 2 people I know who like Bo and Melanie.
Now don’t shoot me, Vera. I
am still trying to pull out the dagger you plunged into my heart with that Ben
and Viki “mother and son lovebirds” comment….lol.
For the life of me, I will never understand why anyone would deny a woman
as wonderful as Viki, the love of a sweet, sensitive, strong, handsome and oh so
sexy man like Ben, no matter how old he is.
I guess that’s what makes the world go around.
I am thrilled that you like my column, in spite of my love of Ben and
Viki….keep reading!
______________________
