Happy New Year, everyone!! I hope that this year brings you all the hope,
prosperity, peace and success that 2002 did not! I can't believe that in 9
days, I will be celebrating my one-year anniversary as a recap writer, and I
hope that for those of you who have taken the time out to write me with your
feedback, and have told me how you have laughed at my work, I will continue
to do more of the same this year. Thank you all for your support and loyal
readership!
Let's end this year with a BANG, shall we??
LOONVIEW TEEN BEAT: GOOD VS. EVIL, WITH A DITZ TO BOOT!!
Weeeellll, Cris and Mitch stand face-to-face with Dizzy Lizzy Rappaport
standing in the sidelines. Cris demands to know what the hell Mitch is doing
there, and as Jen stands there with an "Oh, man, am I busted!" look on her
face, Mitch calmly wiggles out of the noose by telling Cris that he was
there searching for him. He wants to know where his wife is.
Jen interjects, in an attempt to keep up with the pretense of not knowing
Mitch, and asks Cris who this man is and should she call the police. Cris
tells her that Bo is right downstairs, so go get him. Jen leaves, leaving
Cris to face the Devil's advocate all by himself. Mitch growls that Cris
must be really proud of himself for mastering the art of trespassing and
kidnapping, seeing as to how he dragged Natalie out of a second-story window
against her will. Cris smirks, telling him that he indeed is proud of
himself, since Natalie didn't want to be there.
He tells Mitch that he's on to him. He knows all about how Mitch threatened
to kill him if Natalie left him, and since Natalie HAS left him, and he and
Mitch are alone, now is Mitch's big chance.
"Come on, Mitch, take your best shot!" Cris says, "I'm here. Let's go!"
Mitch flashes that creepy, diabolic smile and tells Cris that he's a
religious man, and the Bible says "Thou shalt not kill." Cris tells him that
he didn't have any religious convictions when he chose lied to Natalie about
who he was. Mitch counters with: "And you obviously had no problem with
coveting thy neighbor's wife, now did you?"
Cris tells Mitch that he's the last person that he needs to get Bible
lessons
from. He knows the Commandments, and he obeys them, but, he tells Mitch, he
will not have a problem breaking one of them...Thou shalt not kill.
"Because," he tells the demon, "If you do one thing to hurt Natalie, I'll
KILL you!"
This being said just as Bo and Dizzy Lizzy are standing in the doorway.
Mitch asks Cris to repeat himself a little louder, so the Commish can hear
him. Cris turns around and Bo shakes his head at Cris before turning on
Mitch. What the hell is he doing here? (THAT question seems to be going
around.)
Mitch repeats his cover story to Bo, and tells Bo that he's looking for his
wife, who was abducted by Mr. Vega. Bo asks Mitch if he can support his
accusations with evidence, and Mitch tells him that no proof he provides
will satisfy Bo, since Bo himself was a party to the scheme. Bo asks him if
he can support THAT theory with evidence.
The conversational two-step continues for a few seconds more, and finally
Mitch leaves. Bo zeroes in on Cris, asking him if he's crazy, allowing
Lawrence to bait him that way. Both men are talking freely around Jen,
unaware that she and Mitch are allies. Bo tells Cris to watch his temper and
then advises Jen to call him immediately if Mitch should contact her again.
Bo leaves, and Cris storms off into the bedroom, still consumed with
residual anger, and begins throwing some belongings into a duffel bag.
He returns to face Jen, and she asks him what he's doing. He tells her that
he's going to be staying at the Llanfair carriage house for a while, to help
Natalie and Mrs. Davidson out in this time of crisis. Jen continues to play
the Mature Scorned One, and wishes him well an Natalie luck. He leaves after
a few apologetic words, and an offer to let her keep the loft.
Two seconds after he's gone, there is a knock on the door. It's Mitch. The
two psychos stand smiling at each other. Mitch is congratulating her on her
superb performance, and Jen toasts to the end of Nat and Cris.
LLANFAIR: BATTLEFIELD #64722
Viki is still a basket case, (No pun intended!), about Jessica. Natalie,
hurting for her mom and her sister, assures Viki that Jess will come around.
(Yes, Viki, she will. Just as soon as she digests that plate of Crow!)
She tells Viki that when the bomb smoke clears, Jess will have a lifetime of
wonderful memories to reflect back on, and they will carry her right back to
Viki. Viki is not so easily convinced, but Natalie continues to point out
all of the positive things about the situation.
Natalie points out how Jessica grew up with love and support, and how Viki
and Clint have done nothing but show her that love and support again and
again. She tells Viki that no matter how far away Jessica's hurt takes her,
she'll never forget that, and she'll be back. Viki tells Natalie that
Jessica is outraged with her because she didn't stop Mitch from taking her.
Natalie tells her that she had no control over that. There was a heap of
things taking place at that very moment, and maybe she wasn't Niki Smith
when Mitch took Jessica, but she had just found out the worst thing at the
best moment of her life, and she really needs to give herself a break.
Viki smiles at Natalie, telling her that she is truly a very, very, very,
very, very...(I counted, she said very 5 times!), special young lady, and
she's very grateful to her. If it hadn't been for Natalie, Viki tells her,
she would have fallen apart in the midst of all this.
Natalie smiles and says: "Thanks, I got the special part from my mom."
Nora enters at that moment, and Viki invites her to sit down. There's a
commercial, during which Viki has explained the whole Mitch Lawrence fiasco
in a nutshell to Nora, and when the show returns, Nora is sitting on Viki's
couch, blown away by the revelations.
Viki goes on to ask her if she can help Natalie get out of the marriage, and
Nora says, "Ohhhh, DEFINITELY."
They are happy, and Nora briefly points out the pros of their case. Mitch
concealed his true identity from Natalie, he's refused to grant her an
annulment, he is a reputed dangerous criminal, etc. She can help, but she
has to talk to Bo about some things they've revealed to her and she has to
leave to get started.
As she's leaving, Cris enters. Natalie and Cris tightly embrace, and Nora
questions their connections. Viki summarizes the reason behind Cris's
presence at Llanfair, and tells her that he's going to be staying in the
carriage house. Nora tells them all that is OUT of the question! It'S
obvious that Natalie and Cris are involved, but if she wants out of this
marriage, she has to keep her closet free of skeletons that can be used
against her in court. So, no hanky-panky for the teens, or she will remain
Mitch's prisoner.
Flash over to the Crow Dinner table, we find Jessica and Al in the Llanfair
stables. Jessica is singing the "Why Me?" blues as she coughs up Crow
feathers. Why did everyone lie to me? My mother never wanted me..she gave me
away without a fight to Mitch Lawrence. I'm not a Buchanan, (again), I don't
want to see my mother, oh why did this happen to me? WHY, WHY, WHY???
Al tries everything in the world to appease her. Your mother loves you. She
didn't know what happened. There had to be a reason why this happened....
(Okay, I have to interject here, people! The woman had just delivered a
child after a grueling labor. Not only is she shocked to discover that her
work isn't done because she is about to have another child that she didn't
know she was carrying, but she also discovers that a member of her Labor &
Delivery Squad is Mitch Lawrence in disguise. Then he tells her that she is
about to deliver THEIR child, because he had sex with her under the
influence of a drug, AFTER trespassing on to her property. She was under the
influence of delivery fatigue, shock, and fear..Heck, I don't have D.I.D.,
but under those circumstances, I'd probably have been a robot who handed her
baby over, then turned into Niki Smith, too! Grow up, Jessica!)
Asa finds them and notices that Jessica isn't too peppy. He asks her what is
wrong, and is annoyed to find that Al is acting as her mouthpiece. He asks
Jess a question, and Al comes up with the answers. He barks out some
Asa-style comedic quips at Al and continues to prompt Jess for some info. He
notices that she is holding a photo of her and Clint, and he starts to tell
her some happy childhood stories that only saddens Jessica. Finally she
manages to get Asa to leave, and Al offers her sanctuary away from the world
in his bedroom.
She again sings the blues, and again Al tries to console her, and she tells
him that he's her best friend. They hug, just as Seth walks in!
OPERATION SUPERBROOM: THE DOCTOR IS IN!
Troy arrives at the trashed Rappaport Art Gallery and informs Lindsay that
he has proposed to Nora. Well, having spied on him and Nora in bed earlier,
she knew that already, and she was holding a letter opener to express her
congratulations. She turns to Troy and tells him that there will not be a
wedding, she'll kill him first.
Looking at the letter opener in her hand, Troy is a little afraid at first.
But he recovers quickly and turns the tables on her. He grabs her and tells
her that he will NOT let her ruin his life, it ends here.
She lets out a fear-filled scream, then struggles to get away from him and
runs over to the phone. She screams out that she is going to call Nora right
now, and Troy snatches the phone right out of the wall. She tells him that
she'll get to Nora no matter what.
He walks after her, and she scrambles to the room. She tries to lock the
door, but he pushes his way in. He grabs her again, and tells her that he
knows how to shut her up because he knows something about her. He knows that
she still wants him. She feebly denies it at first, but after a few
persuasive gestures on Troy's part, namely a dangerous closeness that was
the prelude to a kiss, he gets her to confess that she does want him, and
they engage in a passionate kiss that precedes a sex session! Shame on you,
Troy!
A little later, outside on the Llanfair grounds...
Seth and Rex are fencing with those testosterone swords again! Rex baits
Seth, telling him that Jessica is missing and it's all his fault. Seth tells
him to back off and tells Rex to go mind his own business. He might get a
life while he's at it.
Rex can't pass up the opportunity to rub Seth's nose in his own frustration,
and the argument continues. He tells Seth that Jessica is missing because of
him, and because of him, she just may be with that psycho Mitch Lawrence.
(Psycho, did he say?? And he himself is what, SANE???)
Seth is so heated that he fumbles for a reply, but then something hits him,
and he blurts out: why is Rex so damned interested in him and Jessica
anyway? Rex turns to Seth, with a sneering grin, and says:
"You don't get it. I'm not interested in YOU at all!"
"Oh, so that's it! You want Jessica all to yourself. So you can go after her
loot?"
Rex tells him that he should stop looking at HIM as a threat, and focus on
the real threat....Al Holden, who's with Jessica alone as they speak. Seth
takes the bait, and rushes off to Al's.
Later, he finds Jessica and Al in an embrace..in Al's bedroom!
LLANVIEW COMEDY SEGMENT:
How Stella helped Roxy get her groove back.....
I'll be the first to admit that I never thought Llanview could produce a
character as sleazy, dim-witted and hysterically funny, if not more so, than
Roxy. But surprise! Enter Stella, Roxy's mom. Need I say more?
After hearing Roxanne suffer more abuse than he can stand, Max barges in to
Stella's apartment and tells Stella that she has gone far enough, it ends
now. Stella barks, while balancing a lit cigarette between the corners of
her lips and squinting to see through her glasses and a thick cloud of
smoke,
"What?? Who the hell are you?"
"I'm Max Holden, Roxy's husband, and NOBODY speaks to my wife that way!"
(I'm not sure, but I think Roxy did a double-take when she heard that.)
"She's my kid! This ain't none o' ya business!"
"She's my wife, it's all of my business! What kind of a mother are you,
speaking to your child that way? She is a human being with feelings! I can
only see one exception here."
"What's that? Oh...what? Heeyyyyy, I have feelings, too!"
"Yeah," Max says, "Greed, sadism..."
"Hey! Do you hear how this ingrate of a husband of yours is talking to me?"
Anyway, she gets no support from Roxy, and she tells them that she's going
to try on her outfits, and he'd better be gone when she gets back.
Roxy asks Max why he defended her, he tells her that no one deserves that.
She thanks him for the support, and Stella returns. Max tells Stella that
Roxy is done there, and they're leaving. Stella says that Roxy can't leave,
she hasn't cooked her holiday dinner yet. She always does, with all the
trimmings. Max says that she won't be cooking anything for Stella this year.
Roxy tells her mother: "Sorry, Ma, but if my husband says we're leaving,
then we're leaving!"
And they do, hand in hand. Bravo, writers! Very nice twist!
2002.
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