Bob Woods: What Happens After Johnny Comes Marching Home? (A Story No Other Soap Star Ever Told, Or Could Have Told Before) - PART 2

By Seli Groves
 

(Robert S. Woods, Bo)

"Maybe that's why a returning soldier tends to feel like an outsider and why people around him seem as strange to him as he does to them. It's not," he laughed, "like a traveler returning from a year-long cruise around the world. It really is a different person who comes back."

Yet Loyita helped. How?

"First, she was honest with me. She said I seemed different. And of course I was. It's important to be told something is the way you think it is. It wasn't just my imagination. Once I was assured of that, I could take other steps to try and fit in again or," he smiled, "try not to feel so strange in my own home town."

"Second, she was there to listen to me when I felt I had to talk to someone. Both Loyita and my own family were great about that. A lot of men never had anyone who would listen and who would encourage them to talk. Talking is, perhaps, the most important thing. It's why veterans get together, and want to be with each other more than they might want to be with their families. They can talk to one another.

"You see," Bob continued, "you don't have to understand everything a veteran will tell you. But at least when you listen to him he hears himself talking and he has a chance to try and understand himself again."

 "I never expected my wife to really understand everything. But it was nice to know that when I needed someone to listen, she would be there. How different was this "new" Bob? How did Loyita see him after the war as compared with how she knew him before he went away?

"Well, for example, I had been more outgoing. When I was in college, I was involved in everything. I ran for student office. I was in this group and that organization. Yeah," he grinned, "I was your typical 'Joe College.' Rah Rah and all that. And it was that 'rah rah' spirit that made me decide to join the army before I was drafted. The army was a challenge. And so, of course, was the Green Berets. When the opportunity came to join special forces, I took it. Again, there was the chance to prove that I could live up to the special requirements that made the Green Berets the proud, close-knit group it was. Apparently," Bob continued, "I did have whatever it took to become and remain a member. In spite of everything that's been said and printed about the war and about the military and about the Green Berets, I remain proud of what I believe, sincerely, I did for my country and proud, also, of how I did it, as part of the Green Berets.

"Look," Bob said, "the fact is that no matter how the country started to feel about the war, the men it sent to fight that war were good, decent, patriotic -- and I mean that in every right sense of the word -- and courageous men who certainly have deserved a better homecoming than they got, and a better deal than many are still getting.”

" I was no longer that 'rah rah' type, nor did I want to be."

But as for how Loyita saw the changes? Well, as I said, she remembered me as 'Joe College.' When I came back, I returned to college. Of course, I couldn't go back in time. Everyone I'd once known on campus had then graduated. I was no longer that 'rah rah' type, nor did I want to be. I suppose it was against this collegiate background that Loyita could see how much I'd changed. The last time she'd seen me as a civilian I was a college boy. The next time she saw me I was a man who had gone through a rather unique learning experience."

Bob pointed out how important it was to have a warm, loving and patient family to help make the adjustment easier for the returning veteran. Did he think it was not only important, but vital as well?

"I think any attempt to reach out to a veteran and assure him that you appreciate what he's done and what he's gone through will help him. It doesn't have to be family. Friends could help. The thing is -- tell him that you'll listen any time he wants to talk. Ask questions if you want to. But don't expect answers right away. After all," that half-smile returned, "most Viet Nam veterans aren't used to all that attention and it'll take them time to adjust. But show them you know they exist and in this way you'll also show them you're not part of that mass attempt at rewriting, or worse, erasing part of history.

"Remember, no one has to be ashamed of the American men other Americans sent to do a job that this country, for a long while, believed had to be done."

It was time to leave. Bob walked us to the door that separated the dressing room area from the studio. "I know you don't have a 'typical' story there for Soap Opera Digest," he said. "But I felt it was time to talk about this part of my life, especially now that other veterans of the Viet Nam era have begun to talk up, too. Of course, there's also the fact," Bob added, "That a lot of them never had, or may no longer have the same kind of warm, loving attempt at understanding that I got from my family when I came home. But juts in the same way Americans from everywhere across the country kind of 'adopted' the former hostages, those same Americans can reach out to all those men who need recognition. Everyone can help. Everyone can encourage a veteran who still has problems to go for help and not feel ashamed for doing so. You know, it works both ways. Once the country stops lying about the past, everybody's going to feel better about the future."

Ten years is a long time for Bob and men like him to have kept silent. Come to think of it, ten years is a long time for men like him and the other veterans to have been held hostage to a legacy of shame for which they were not to blame. Could be someone like Robert S. Woods, former Special Forces member in good standing, had still one more special duty to perform for his buddies. Maybe he helped shake a lot of us out of yesterday and into tomorrow.

Seli Groves is a former contributor to Soap Opera Digest and is currently a columnist with King Features Syndicate.

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