One Life to Live Recap for Thursday, January 15, 2004

Hey, all!! I'm baaaaack!! Look out below, because I'm coming back with a vengeance. The writers have been losing the little that's left of their minds, and someone has to speak up about it!! Who ya gonna call? Alien Pixie-Dust Buster Kaydee! Hee-hee! Let's get going, folks...

KRAMER VS. KRAMER VS. VICKERS:
We open with David Vickers and Paul Kramer in a testosterone battle of the con men. Paul accuses David of having spiked his drink to keep him away from Aunt Betsy, whom he happens to care for very much. "Oh, sure," David coolly quips in reply, "And the fact that she happens to be filthy rich doesn't influence your ‘care' whatsoever, I suppose?" Before Paul can defend himself, a frantic Kelly comes barging in, telling David that she needs to talk to him in private.
Worried, David follows her into the next room and closes the door, more worried as she collapses into deep sobs against his shoulders. She tells him that if she doesn't start showing soon, everyone will know that she's not really pregnant, including Kev, who will leave her for sure. David is annoyed with the whole scenario, and tells her that she needs to dump Kevin and find someone who appreciates her. Not an option in Kelly's mind. She has to produce a baby. She thinks really hard, then...DING! JOEY will do it! He's a Buchanan, they used to be married, he surely must still love her...PERFECT! "Oh, THAT'S fair!" David says. Kelly instantly regrets her selfish suggestion and storms off, curtly greeting Aunt Betsy and her brother who are sitting on the foyer steps as she leaves. Before David had returned, Aunt Betsy had arrived and had been alone with Paul long enough for the younger con man to convince her that a photo she'd been sent of Paul kissing a woman in a wedding gown was all part of David Vickers' con game. He doctored the photo and sent it to her as a way of casting suspicion on Paul so that he can stay in her good financial graces. Although she had been wavering back and forth in her belief of Paul's story, she had heard enough to cut David's charming greeting short. She accepts a private meeting in the other room with David, ordering Paul to stay put in the hall.
Inside, David goes to work on undoing Paul's badmouthing of him, and assures her that Adrianna is real. Betsy angrily screams out that she's had enough of the lot of them, and he'd better produce Adrianna soon...before she's dead and gone! Weeeelll...a little later, Paul and David go at it one last time on the phone. David tells Paul that he knows Aunt Betsy must have heard an earful of con from him, but he won't win. Paul tells him at least his con was a heapful better than trying to convince Betsy of Dorian's imaginary love child. David assures him that Adrianna is real. Adrianna? As in River's girlfriend? David is ticked off with himself for his slip of the tongue and quickly hangs up...just before hearing his flight to San Juan, Puerto Rico is now boarding. Flash back to Paul, he finds Kelly getting drunk in a corner. He tells her that she shouldn't be drinking in her condition. She tells him she has no condition, but she'd better produce a kid soon, or life is over. Scheming Paul suggests she do just that..leave town for awhile and return with a baby. Who'd be the wiser?